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why parents drink......

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his

bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an

envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to

'Mom' With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling

hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope

with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and

you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings,

tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older

than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy

said that we will be very, happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and

has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of

having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt

anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other

people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we

will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get

better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take

care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that

you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your Son Paul

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Dustin's house. I just

wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the

report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you.

Call me when its safe to come home.......
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