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I went hunting once with a stomach ache and had to climb down and go home while deer were in sight. I scared them all off and went to the truck all bent over holding my stomach and hoping not to #2 it.....bad stomach ache!!!!!!
 

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Since this thread has already turned to "crap" so to speak I will throw in one of my crap stories.

Long story short I drank some creek water that I had been drinking for several years.. Except this time I got a parasite. It took me about a 1 year and a 1/2 to get over, 200 trips to a variety doctors so I could discuss with them why its not normal to go to the bathroom 18 times a day. (no exaggeration, just ask my co-workers) About 10 times i had to carry a bag a poop into some stupid doc office for examination. It was embarrasing at first but then my attitude changed. I would proudly give the secretary a bag a poop and tell her what it was.

Felt like crap a lot, half tempted to just cut my head off several times.(not really) It sucked!!!

The first time this hit me I was hunting with 2 other folks. Crapped 5 times under my treestand and drank a whole bottle of pepto. (pepto and nothing else i tried touched it). I couldnt leave the woods cuz i didnt want to mess up their hunt so I just preceded to crap around my tree stand. (havent hunted that spot since, I still watch my step 5 yrs later)

Took a round a pills 2 different times where the doc said "your going to think your dying on this pill, but its just the pill trying to kill whatever you got inside of you."

I still tip my hat too and would buy dinner for this poop specialist foreign doc I went and seen in Chattanooga. The only dude that had a clue as to what to do and acted like he had seen this kind of thing before.

Whew.. Im glad Im over it.. I have yet to drink water while in the woods since then..
 

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about the funniest story i can think of, was when i was guiding hog hunts. had a yankee (no offense, lol) down from Ohio, hunting with me. run into a group of hogs , about 9. nice meat hogs (150 lbs). had the client go ahead and pick one to shoot. picked out a nice sow, pulled the trigger, she dropped. the remaining hogs scattered. they were in an open area, we were in the tree line. a boar decided to run to the woods. right where we were standing. I raised the ol' mossberg up, hog was at about 20 yds, told client (over my shoulder) 10 more feet, gonna drop him. hog finally saw me and made a sharp 90 degree turn. just let him go. turned around and my client WASN"T there. done climbed a tree. almost couldn't stop laughing the rest of the hunt. he had thought we were getting charged, that hog just wanted out of the area.
 

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I like that one kemster99.. The difference between me and him is I would have been pulling the trigger again if I thought that boar was charging me.
 

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what buckfever said . . .

That's one instance where an auto loader or semi-auto sure comes in handy!
Sometimes you just can't work that bolt action fast enough!
 

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i found out, when guiding folks, you can pretty much expect anything to happen. lol. am very safety minded prior military and been hunting along time. never had anything bad happen. no one was ever hurt chasing some of them big ol' hogs. but the stories i could tell. lol
 

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i have a friend, that i have taken to my lease in Georgia. He is not very experienced, so i try to help him out. has been hunting about 2 years now. To understand this story, you must first know that this guy will get lost, with a gps in hand. lol. so i keep an eye on him. lol. one morning , going to the stands. I decided to hunt my climber about 400 yds from the stand he wanted to hunt. he had hunted it already 3 times that weekend. i am half way up the tree and i see his flashlight shining and moving all over the place. in the woods, the food plot , back into the woods. I'm thinking "what the heck is he doing?" I'm contemplating climbing down to check on him. just then his light turns off. woods are quiet and dark again. no radio call, so i figure all is well. after the hunt, i meet up with him. he informs me that he got lost and couldn't find the stand (had already been to it in the dark twice)lol then he tripped on a log on the edge of the food plot. he sat down on the edge of the food plot till day break. found the stand, started to climb up in it and spooked 6 does. if he would of been up in there, could of gotten his first deer.
 

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gonna pull out the good stories now. same hunting buddy, is very good for some entertainment. sitting in a stand in Georgia. I'm probably 600-700 yds away. when we meet up after the morning hunt, he informs me that he heard a buck grunting, very loud. i heard nothing like that. as we are walking back to the truck, he says "there it is again, that buck is close". i told him that that wasn't a buck, it was the donkey that lives about 1/2 mile down the road at a vet hospital. i laughed for hours after that.
 

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I took a good friend of mine hunting for one of his first times looking for his first deer. I told him that no matter what walked out I was going to give him the first shot at it. We were sitting on the side of a tall ridge overlooking another ridge and a deep hollar when we heard something moving in the leaves to my left. I told him to get ready just then a large buck came out of a thicket and started walking slowly up the other ridge. My binocs were under my rifle I had laying in my lap so I picked up my rifle after I showed the buck to my buddy so I could try to see if he hit it. I was talking to him saying shoot shoot. If you don't shoot he is going over the ridge. Well needless to say he didn't shoot and the buck got away. When I put my rifle down and asked if he couldn't get on him is that why he didn't shoot he told me....he had him in his scope but saw me pick my rifle up and he knew that 7mm mag I was shooting was going to be loud he put his gun down and stuck his fingers in his ears. I can still see that buck to this day. He was a good one!
 
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