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Cowboy rules

Rules of Colorado , Wyoming , Montana , Utah , Idaho , and the rest of the
Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I
drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4 They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle.
They eat and crap; smells like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?
I-80 & I-90 go east and west, I-25 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have
$250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being
friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese,
pheasants, ducks, doves are comin' in during the hunts, we WILL shoot it
outa your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really
want sushi and caviar?! It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women,
regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu.
Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of
ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main
dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper,
and ketchup! Oh, yeah . . We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call
that stuff you eat . . IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown,
wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be
cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here
as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang
site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water
hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump
crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to
see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and
a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share
in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!
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