Advice

spiker · #1 (**permalink**) 05-15-2011, 09:50 AM

Last June a very good friend of mine passed away.My friend was into Harleys and rode quite a bit.He was not what i consider a biker.At his wake i was digusted when his motorcycle friends staring drinking in the parking lot at his wake.This was not approved by the family and made me sick.I spoke to his Uncle and ask if he wanted me to intervene and he said he didnt want to create a scene.Eventually these idiots were just showing up to drink and not even pay respects.This made me sick and i had to leave before i did something i would regret.I apologized to his mother and father and had to leave.Now these same people our organizing a bike run in his memory and i should attend.The proceeds will be donated to his daughter.I am having a hard time thinking about attending but i should be there as i was one of his closest friends.Please someone offer some advice to me on this.

BruceBruce1959 · #2 (**permalink**) 05-15-2011, 12:00 PM

I would definitely attend but I wouldn't participate in any drinking activities and maybe your respect will reflect onto others.

Hunting Man · #3 (**permalink**) 05-15-2011, 01:34 PM

I'd go and be yourself and uphold your principles.

hunt NH · #4 (**permalink**) 05-15-2011, 02:05 PM

i agree with Bruce and HM

delbert · #5 (**permalink**) 05-15-2011, 05:56 PM

Some people show there feelings for a passing friend a little different.
They did show up
I would go and be who you are

hunt NH · #6 (**permalink**) 05-15-2011, 06:32 PM

yes they do. i dont think the wake would be a good place to do that and some might define me as a biker. and after my grandfathers funeral we did have a big celibration of his life, and there was drinking. at the funeral however it was kept they way you would expext. lead at a chirch, everyone was dressed in black, and it had a flag folding by two sailors (my grand father was a navy vet) and it was a somber event. the party was right after at my familys property, and the navy guys were envited. we all drank alot, had a bbq, and rode a mini bike up and down the proprtys driveway (about 1/4, and we never went onto the street sence we were drinking). not what "normal people" would do but it was our way of saying good bye.

spiker · #7 (**permalink**) 05-15-2011, 06:35 PM

Thanx for the input.My problem was it wasnt discussed with the family and it became a sideshow.Thanx again for the advice fellas.

deerless · #8 (**permalink**) 05-15-2011, 06:41 PM

Absolutely, show your respect as a friend by showing up and supporting the family. Let the rest of the folks who attend develop there own opinions on the actions of said others who will be there.

gfdeputy2 · #9 (**permalink**) 05-16-2011, 04:57 AM

I agree w/ all You should go remember it is for your friend & you will be helping raise money for his daughter & his family

tator · #10 (**permalink**) 05-16-2011, 08:59 AM

Spiker... Unfortunately that is how some people greeve when someone passes away. I'm not saying it's right, because to me it's not. You have to remember to them, that felt right to do for some reason. Now that said, They should've had the sense to be more respectful of the family and NOT drank alcohol like that. I've never heard of anyone doing that, and if that were my loved one that passed away, I would have to say something to them.
This is case and point one of the reasons I gave up drinking about 5 years ago. Seemed like every time something didn't go my way or I had a bad day at work I would drink. That's not the correct way to deal with things. Often times, people do this enough and it leads to alcoholism because that's the only way they know how to deal with bad days and loses.