HB, bad thoughts are just that, they will pass!. When I lay on the couch packed in ice, with pain tears flowing I think how nice it would be without pain. Bad thoughts happen to all of us, it's normal. The thing is I believe better things are in store for all of us, the bad thoughts pass as the pain level comes down. Besides we all have a few more hunts left in us. If you want to talk to someone give me a private post and # i'll be happy to call/talk anytime on me. I'm sure all of our good friends here would be happy to do the same. Don't think too much on the bad thoughts they'll pass, trust me!